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Jolly St Nick

North Pole Jokes

What did Mrs. Claus say to Santa When he came home late?

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Answer:

Where in the world have you been?

What did Frosty wear to his wedding?

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Answer:

His snow suit!

What do you call it when people are afraid of Santa?

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Answer:

Claus-trophobia

Where do elves go to vote?

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Answer:

The North Polls

What do elves post on social media?

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Answer:

Elfies

What do you get when you combine a Christmas tree with an iphone?

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Answer:

A PineApple

What do you hear when Jack Frost turns on the radio?

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Answer:

Really Cool music

What do reindeer have that no other animals have?

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Answer:

Baby reindeer

What do you get when you combine a snowball, a fish and a Christmas tree branch?

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Answer:

A frozen fish stick!

Why don't you want to make a snowman angry?

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Answer:

He will have a meltdown!

What do elves learn in Kindergarten? The elfa-bet

 

Answer:

The elfa-bet

Which of Santa’s reindeer has the best moves?

 

Answer:

Dancer

Where do gingerbread men sleep?

 

Answer:

On cookie sheets

Why is Santa so good at karate? 

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Answer:

He’s got a black belt

What kind of salad do they serve at the North Pole? Iceberg lettuce

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Answer:

Iceberg lettuce

What did one snowman say to the other? You’re coo

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Answer:

You’re cool

Knock, knock! Who’s there? Mary. Mary who? Mary Christmas

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Answer:

Mary Christmas

Knock, knock! Who’s there? Santa. Santa who?

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Answer:

Santa Claus, Ho Ho Ho

Why can’t you surprise reindeer?

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Answer:

Because they’ve herd it all.

What did the Christmas tree say to the ornament?

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Answer:

Wanna hang out?

What does Santa clean his sleigh with? 

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Answer:

Santa-tizer.

How does Kris Kringle take pictures?
 

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Answer:

A: With his North Pole-aroid

Why do snowmen always change their minds?

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Answer:

Because they are Flakey

What did the Christmas tree say to the ornament?

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Answer:

Quit hanging around.

Why did Santa put a clock in his sleigh?

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Answer:

He wanted to see time fly!

What do snowmen wear on their feet?

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Answer:

Snowshoes

What do grumpy sheep say during the holidays?

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Answer:

Baaa Humbug

What do you have in December that you do not have in any other month?

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Answer:

the letter D

Why is the Grinch so good at gardening?

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Answer:

He has a green thumb

How do you spell frozen with only three letters?

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Answer:

ICE

What does Santa use for a map?

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Answer:

A snowglobe

What do gingerbread men use when they break their legs?

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Answer:

Candy Canes

Why do snowmen live at the North Pole?

 

Answer:

Because it's cool

Where does Santa store his suit? In his Claus-et

 

Answer:

In his Claus-et

Where do gingerbread men sleep?

 

Answer:

On cookie sheets

What did Santa and Mrs. Claus name their daughter? Mary Christmas

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Answer:

Mary Christmas

What did the salt say to the pepper on Christmas? Seasonings greetings

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Answer:

Seasonings greetings

Knock, knock! Who’s there? Snow. Snow who? Snow one’s better than you are!

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Answer:

Snow one’s better than you are!

Knock, knock! Who’s there? Doughnut. Doughnut who? Doughnut open the presents until Christmas

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Answer:

Doughnut open the presents until Christmas

Knock, knock! Who’s there? Water. Water who? Water you askin’ Santa for Christmas?

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Answer:

Water you askin’ Santa for Christmas?

Where do snowmen keep their money? In snowbanks

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Answer:

In snowbanks

How does Christmas Day end?

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Answer:

With the letter “Y.”

What do you call a penguin at the North Pole?

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Answer:

Lost! (Penguins live in Antarctica, which is the South Pole)

What kind of money snowmen use in the North Pole?
 

Answer:

Cold cash!

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